MOTIVATION

I was down and out. Depression and  work took a heavy toll on my physical and mental conditions. Deadlines were not met and hindrance in tasks added on to the misery. I started wading through motivational quotes with out much upshot. Conversations with my Mom over phone was the only solace. What should I do? I have to stay strong. Otherwise it will affect the morale of my team. I used to park my car behind a shopping mall and walk to my office. The mall was always crowded and buzzed with activities. One day I have seen a woman in her sixties, but not skinny begging in front of the mall. She was not like other spongers. She wore a beautiful smile which was innocent and positive. Her wrinkles were evident, but failed to demean the beautiful smile. The sari worn by her was torn in places. She was holding a stick for support along with a satchel damaged beyond recognition. The Satchel was kept tight to her body as if, some important artifacts were present inside.

She came infront of me and gave that  delightful smile. But I was least bothered, since my mind was hovering with thoughts of impending issues. It continued for almost  a week and she has consistently given me the same smile in the same fashion. I have finally given her some amount.

I have asked her out of curiosity " Why are you begging here? Where are your children? ". She said " I am from a remote village in Karnataka.I was a house wife and possessed a good stretch of agricultural land. My husband passed away when my son was 15. I looked after my son from the agricultural income. I lived for him." I became inquisitive now and asked " Where is your son now?". She said " He is married and I pray for a happy family life for him".

The incident narrated was like this. She took care of her son from the income generated out of their agricultural land. She relinquished her youth, energy and comfort for her son. He was good in studies and put down roots at Mangalore. One day he went to his home town and convinced her for a trip to Bangalore. She was very excited and happy because her son was taking her to a city which she hasn't explored. She never gone out of her village. They have reached Bangalore early morning by bus and alighted in Majestic bus stand. He told her to stay in the bus platform, so that he can go and get a taxi for the ride. She agreed. Hours gone by and the  son who has gone to get the taxi never came back. She was tensed with the thought that something terrible happened to him. His phone was switched off. She ran outside the bus stand in shock and tension, searching for him. She decided to stay in Bangalore to search for him and vouched not to return home town till she finds him. She later understood that she was dumped by her son, since he felt her as a liability and an obstacle to the earlier possession of ancestral property. She was devastated and was in a state of shock for some days. She was admitted in a hospital because of starvation and high blood pressure by some good Samaritans. Once out of the hospital she started begging for a living and started staying in a dilapidated room near to a petrol bunk. I was shocked and asked her " Why can't you go back to your home town?" She told me that she is happy with the life here and there is no point in going back since her most valuable possession, her son, shunted her out of his heart. "Whom should I live for" ? This question has gone deep in to my mind. If you don't have some one to live for, there is no point in doing all these. But I salute her for that unwavering smile irrespective of the plight.


It was a time for self realization for me. Why the hell am I demotivated? I am surrounded by my ever loving parents and family, who never left me at the time of misery. This lady wears a smile after all the mishaps in her life and kept her life simple. What will happen if some of the deadlines are not met? Let's try for it again with a smile. Our loved ones are with us. Our kid's or wife's smile can be a huge motivator. Many of the people stay and fight their life away from their home town with some goals in mind. So there is no point in getting demotivated. Motivation is a mindset and not a situation. When your parents/ wife/ kids stand with you,that will be the biggest motivating factor. Forget all the motivational speeches and stories about attitude and confidence. Your family and loved ones are your attitude,confidence and success. But still the big question haunts me " How is she  smiling so innocently, after deeply dented by her son?" The main one being  " How is she motivated?" She may be motivated in her troubled life, because of her Son's smile. But his act was very cruel for whatever reasons. But this mother don't want to go back to him now.

Any ways, she is still smiling every day and I am amazingly motivated!!!!!

Ever Motivated
LEEMON RAVI

OKAY FINE

“ Okay Fine” the tattooed letter mixed with ink and blood emulated a new value and cause in her life. The pain of tattoo needles was minuscule, because her soul was pricked on regular intervals. They were in relationship for almost 2 years. She was sober and edgy about relationships. But he came like a rain fall in her life, which was a forlorn desert  and the emotional temperature was on a sore high. The tattoo artist was perplexed with her choice of content and he has apprehensions about the length. But she was adamant and emotionless about her choice.

He was exuberant and she was expressive. Her thoughts and perspective about love was comprehensively redefined by him. She wondered about their love and often perplexed while running her fingers on his hair. They conveyed their love through their eyes, stare and actions and the world stood stand still whenever they met. After the demise of father in her early age, his love brought back the paternal care.

Friend ship in a city augments based on mutual benefits. She understood this in a short span of time. She was like a paper boat wafting as per the current of  river. Though she was strong and cant be wrecked, dryness engulfed everywhere. The days flied by and their love grew stronger. His bullet unraveled different destinations with her. He was the perfect foil for her.  She never envisaged that he will dominate her thoughts for the rest of the life.

The lorry which toppled his car took away his life in a whisker. Her phone calls were not answered. She frantically searched for her love. She was ditched by many lustful minds earlier. The fear of loosing the love catapulted her mind like a termite. The information about his death by a friend turned her world upside down. The memories with him flashed and disappeared. She has pushed to a black hole of sorrow. The black hole has not countenanced any ray of hope inside . She created a virtual world where they have shared their feelings.  Her love overflowed with him in that imaginary sphere. But senses brought her back to a real world engrossed with darkness. Intense darkness submerged her small world of joy.

She ascertained an important thing. The things which she felt like his awful qualities has become an emotional liability now. She really craved for that possessiveness of him. She always fought for her personal space, but the same personal space fettered her like a black hole. Her individuality was not complete with out his imperfections. The biggest achievement in her life was their togetherness. Philosophies of moving on was futile. But she has to move on. Their fights, ego clashes, opinion differences, absence of personal space and all was a part of their bond. His absence is not breaking the bond now. It has strengthened with out him. She has seen his last text to her. It was written as " Okay Fine". Now she inked his last words in her body to remember that, its ok, fine, move on!! But her memory is still bewitched by him. She don't know whether a different person will possess it or not. But one thing is sure.  He is inked with her body and soul now. So its " Okay Fine". She will stand and combat with her possessed mind and inked body, for their successful love.


With Love
Leemon Ravi